We never get tired of good jokes that put a smile on our face and the following one will definitely make your day.
The truth is that there are certain women who marry quite older men for the sake of their inheritance, and the lady from this story is one such woman.
She never missed a week to go and visit her husband’s grave and water the flowers. But whenever she would leave the graveyard, she would walk away with her back turned.
A young gentleman who witnessed this happening each week couldn’t help but approach her and have a little chat with her.
“I see that you have shown exceptional respect to your deceased husband. I noticed that you don’t turn your back when you leave, which is very beautiful!” he said.
The woman, looking straight into his eyes gave a reply that left him completely speechless.
“Well, sir, my husband always used to tell me that I have a behind that could raise the dead from their graves. I don’t want to take any chances!”
Isn’t this hilarious?
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Funny: A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past
The lizard looks up and says “Hey, what are you doing?”
The monkey says “Smoking a joint. Come up and join me.”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey, and they have another joint.
After a while, the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans over too far and falls in.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard “What’s the matter with you!?”
The lizard explains that he was up in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out.
He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The monkey looks down and says “OMG! DUUUUDE …. HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?!”
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An American, Brit, and an Aussie are about to get executed in Russia
The executioner approaches the American prisoner and says, “How would you like to die? By firing squad, hung by the neck, or on the electric Chair?”
“I’ll take the chair” the American says.
So he gets strapped into the electric chair.
When they flip the switch, nothing happens! In Mother Russia, such an act of divine intervention means you get released.
As the American prisoner is being led away he passes the Brit, who’s getting pulled up next, he whispers to him, “The electric chair isn’t working!”
The executioner approaches the British man and says, “How would you like to die? By firing squad, hung by the neck, or on the electric Chair?”
“I’ll take the chair.” the Brit says.
So he gets strapped into the electric chair.
When they flip the switch, nothing happens! And he also gets released.
As the British prisoner passes the Aussie who’s getting pulled up next, he also whispers, “The electric chair isn’t working!”
The executioner approaches the Aussie man and says, “How would you like to die? By firing squad, hung by the neck, or on the electric Chair?”
“Well crikey, mate! The electric chair isn’t working, so firing squad I guess!”
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The old Farmer see’s girls skinny dipping in his pond
Right at the back of the farm there was a large pond that was ideal for swimming. The old farmer had fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the farmer decides to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn’t been down there for a while.
Before setting off, he grabs a five-gallon bucket as he decides he’ll bring back some fruit.
As he nears the pond, he can hear voices shouting and laughing with glee. Clearly someone is having a good time.
As the farmer gets closer, he can see a bunch of young women who are clearly skinny-dipping in his pond.
He makes the women aware of his presence and immediately they all swim over to the far end.
One of the women then shouts, “We’re not coming out until you leave, mister!“
The farmer replies, “Ladies, I didn’t come down here to watch you swim naked or make you get out of the pond…“
The wily old timer then holds up his bucket and says,
“I just came down here to feed the alligators!“
Moral of the story: Never underestimate an old man.