Daughter claims she’s never been with a man – doctor’s priceless reply almost makes mother faint

 

Every parent wants to believe that their darling sons or daughters will do no wrong, but that is hardly the case.

Look back a couple of years and remember how you may have kept details from your parents when you were their age.

Of course, we want the very best for our children but sometimes we have to let off to make their own mistakes and learn from them.

Obviously this is hard to accept but in the long run, it is the only way for them to grow and become their own person.

Have a read of this hilarious story of this example we just had to share it with you.

You wont resist laughing at the doctor’s reply to the daughter claim that she has never been with a man!

One mother brings her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The female doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what seems to be the problem?”

The mother replies, “It’s my daughter, Darla. She keeps getting these cravings. Also, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.”

Raising an eyebrow the doctor says nothing as she didn’t want to jump to conclusions and decides to give Darla a good examination.

Once she finishing her examination, the doctor turned to the mother and says, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant. About 4 months would be my guess.”

Bursting out laughing the mother replies, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?”

Darla shakes her head and says, “No, Mom! I’ve never even kissed a man!”

The doctor stands up, walks over to a nearby window and opens the blinds. She says nothing, and instead just looks out the window attentively.

“Is there something wrong out there, doctor?” the mother asks a few moments later.

To which the  doctor replies, “No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss it this time!”

Joke Of Today: The Barber & The Guy

 How Long?

This guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours."

The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around at his shop full of customers and says, "About two hours."

The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half."

The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes."

In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically.

The barber asks, "Bill, where did that guy go when he left here?"

Bill looks at him and says, "To your house."

Boy Asks His Dad What Condoms Are Used For. The Dad's Response Is Hilarious

A boy and his father walk into a pharmacy store where the boy notices a pack of condoms.

Walks into a bar

A boy and his father walk into a pharmacy store where the boy notices a pack of condoms.

The boy turns to his father and ask what condoms are, the father explains that they are used for safe sex.

The boy intrigued ask his father why do they come in different quantities per box.

The father picks up a three pack or condoms and says "well son this three pack is probably best for a senior in High School who may party on the weekends, so he has one for Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night". 

The father then goes to the pack with seven condoms and says. "This pack is best for college students who plan on having sex everyday of the week.

The boy then see's a 12 pack of condoms and says "wow dad a pack with 12 who uses these"?

The father lets out a soft sign and drops his head. "Well son these are for married men, one for January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December".

Joke Of The Day: The Smart Blonde And The Dumb Lawyer

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. 

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. 

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. 

He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. 

After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. 

And you thought blondes were dumb...

Little Johnny Had Passed His Driving Test.

This Is Super Funny.

Little Johnny had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he’d make a deal with his son,
“You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.

 Then we’ll talk about the car.”
The Little Johnny thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said,
“Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”

The Little Johnny said,
“You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”

(You’re going to love Dad’s reply!)
“Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went..

The ATR Button: funny Joke

 

A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of the toilet. But each time he looked up, the illuminated sign proclaimed that it was occupied. …

…

The stewardess, aware of his predicament, suggested that he uses the airplane’s new prototype women’s loo. …

…

But he must not press any of the buttons inside. The were labelled WW,WA,PP, and ATR. …

…

The man’s curiousity got the best of him and he started pressing the buttons one by one.

When he pressed WW, Warm, fragrant Water was sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, wow, the women really have it made.

Still curious, he pressed the button marked WA, and a gentle breeze of Warm Air quickly dried his hindquarters. He thought this was fantastic and reached for the button marked PP.

This yielded a large Powder Puff that delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Naturally, he couldn’t resist the last button marked ATR.

When he woke up in the hospital, he buzzed for the nurse. “What happened to me? The last thing I remember is that I was in the new ladies’ room on a plane.”

“Yes,” replied the nurse, “apparently you were having a great time until you pressed the ATR button, which stands for AUTOMATIC TAMPON REMOVER.

Your p*nis is under your pillow.”

Woman’s Facebook post goes viral after running out of gas after work

 A woman from Port Arthur, Texas, recently posted a Facebook update that has gone viral. It it, she explains that she ran out of gas on the way home from work, and was stranded on a busy road as trucks and cars passed her by.

She says many vehicles honked at her as she attempted to push her car down the road. Then everything turned around for her a group of soldiers and a kindhearted stranger saw her struggle. Read her post below.

Mary Mingo Williams:

I just ran out of gas coming from my job at Savannah and 25th Street the light changed and the car stopped. I got out and started pushing my car nobody stopped to help me trucks passed by me. People had the nerve to blow their horn at me and they see me pushing this car. I don’t know where they came from but all of a sudden I had almost a platoon of army men they pushed my car literally from motiva Terminal Gate to the Citco station on Gulfway Drive.

Do you understand what I’m saying they pushed my car on their feet. When we got there I asked him can I please take your picture to let people know there are still young men in the world that will stop and offer their assistance to a woman in need. They said yes. At the gas station this man jumped out of his truck pulled $100 bill out of his wallet and offered it to them for them to go get themselves a meal.

They all said at the same time no sir we cannot accept that we were doing what we were raised to do. This same gentleman turned around and put gasoline in my car and told me keep the money that I had in my pocket. Man, when you are or child of God no matter what obstacles are placed in your way the Lord always has a ram in the bush. I thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart……..

Her post was shared by more than 10,000 people who were touched by the kind act.